He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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