what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
