I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
