Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
