lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize