Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
