Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
