If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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