shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Pooping to opera.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
