BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My balls are so social today.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
