Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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