I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
