And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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