If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
