so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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