I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize