i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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