They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize