look no pants
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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