i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
