I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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