It's like God shit irony all over that family
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
