if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You took a bar mat shot.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
