I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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