You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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