I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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