I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize