a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
