Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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