All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
