Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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