Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My cat gives me a boner

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  (610): My cat gives me a boner http://tfl.nu/df3i
  Replies (29) Good night (930) Bad night (7104)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex

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  (816): is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex http://tfl.nu/zw16
  Replies (7) Good night (4787) Bad night (1235)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

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  (817): God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist http://tfl.nu/ubmz
  Replies (12) Good night (1562) Bad night (5484)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."

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  (504): And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone." http://tfl.nu/d5h9
  Replies (15) Good night (2814) Bad night (1219)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.

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  (214): Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/p4l3
  Replies (6) Good night (3245) Bad night (1661)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode

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  (352): This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode http://tfl.nu/n1t3
  Replies (10) Good night (3723) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.

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  (828): I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w8gt
  Replies (5) Good night (1795) Bad night (925)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.

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  (918): We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off. http://tfl.nu/7uo8
  Replies (13) Good night (1868) Bad night (636)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity

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  (250): I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity http://tfl.nu/6n2x
  Replies (2) Good night (1054) Bad night (648)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless

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  (754): Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless http://tfl.nu/pgaf
  Replies (13) Good night (1403) Bad night (852)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct

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  (616): I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct http://tfl.nu/hig4
  Replies (4) Good night (1070) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You rock my world.

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  (417): I just smoked weed out of a baked potato. (309): You rock my world. http://tfl.nu/p2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (1044) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.

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  (941): We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go. http://tfl.nu/o8qv
  Replies (2) Good night (1012) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.

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  (651): Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year. http://tfl.nu/7b82
  Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything

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  (262): He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/fbmj
  Replies (4) Good night (567) Bad night (371)

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