Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".