It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
