Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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