I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
