on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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