i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
did i just pee glitter
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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