JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
