Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
