Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
