I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
