I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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