Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
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We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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