why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
