apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
