No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
