just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize