I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
