uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
