guys are not supposed to queef...right?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize