I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
