I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
