like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize