So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
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