You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
