i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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