Tell her she can't have a vagina
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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