we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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