i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
