You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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