My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
