I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
