i just wanna soil my oats bro
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
