You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Randomize
