Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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