Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it was like eating out sand paper
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
