I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
