my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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