Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
