I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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