do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
